everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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