Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
