On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
