Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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