do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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