my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
