I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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