I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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