...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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