Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
