So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
