you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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