Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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