people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
