Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand

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(330): View more from Ohio

I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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(914): View more from New York

Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

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(613): View more from Ontario

You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out

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(732): View more from New Jersey

where are my pants?

(908): View more from New Jersey

in the oven.

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