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• (303): View more from Colorado

  pwbgyin

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  what?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  penguin condom

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

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• 

  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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• (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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• (310): View more from California

  I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.

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• (619): View more from California

  If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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• 

  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.

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• (559): View more from California

  You stopped loving me for a minute.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  My Sexting was not on an AP level

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.

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