Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  but u need boobs to get one in the first place.

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  (301): : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs. (1-301): but u need boobs to get one in the first place. http://tfl.nu/nypm
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (1223)
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  (714): View more from California

  we're chasing vodka with high fives

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  (714): we're chasing vodka with high fives http://tfl.nu/2m9s
  Replies (38) Good night (17464) Bad night (1158)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2675) Bad night (644)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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  (832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me
  Replies (16) Good night (3180) Bad night (726)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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  (806): at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap. http://tfl.nu/nba1
  Replies (20) Good night (1051) Bad night (7743)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..

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  (713): she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding.. http://tfl.nu/h93z
  Replies (16) Good night (1580) Bad night (5611)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (1045) Bad night (6345)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3727) Bad night (915)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

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  (318): As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right. http://tfl.nu/x0n7
  Replies (6) Good night (3599) Bad night (951)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1435) Bad night (607)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (376)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.

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  (334): As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream. http://tfl.nu/b74h
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (331)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did

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  (205): There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did http://tfl.nu/00cd
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (997)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?

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  (415): I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms? http://tfl.nu/krzn
  Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (260)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm

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  (702): I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm http://tfl.nu/49j9
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (757)

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