Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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(305): View more from Florida

I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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(409): View more from Texas

He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..

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(719): View more from Colorado

I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.

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(239): View more from Florida

Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake

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