Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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