More tranny stories later!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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