my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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