There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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