At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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