Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
