How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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