why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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