I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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