No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize