Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
