maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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