the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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