i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
