i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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