i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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