using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
