I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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