So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
