a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
