I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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