Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
