She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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