your thong is hanging out like whoa
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
