Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
