So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The beer is more important than you right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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