See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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