so explain again why im purple
no
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
