Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
