You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
