Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
