Whod you bang
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
