what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
