The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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