and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
