We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
