nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
