they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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